In this episode we talk about increasing resilience through listening. We go into depth on many ways this is possible, but the one we really focus a lot on is getting present with our body. I loved this conversation. It calmed me down and I hope that it helps to calm you down as well. Here are some of the topics we covered:
In practice for over seven years, Leslie Santos is a psychological archeologist, mindset cartographer and champion of the life-thirsty. She studied positive psychology under Martin Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania. It was while working with Seligman that she discovered how childhood adversity affects adult behaviors, an epic realization that catalyzed her mission and compelled her forward.Her working model is that all humans experience childhood hardship and through this adversity protective adaptations are formed. Left unresolved, these adaptations become maladaptive in adulthood and block our momentum forward: every earnest step toward our desire is countered by an equal force in the opposite direction. These findings led to the development of her resilience process, designed for 1:1 mentorship and corporate human development for enlightened leaders.
Have you ever felt lonely? Unfortunately, most people would answer yes. There is a loneliness epidemic going on in the world today and I am on a mission to help fight against it. So is Rite of Passage designer and TEDx speaker, Baya Voce. As I was researching loneliness, I found Baya’s TEDx talk (with over 4 million views) on a simple cure for loneliness. This intrigued me and I knew we had to chat. It just so happened that serendipity wanted us to chat as well. My friend and former More Happy Life podcast guest, Doug Cartwright (see episode 120) happens to be friends with Baya and we got on the phone and made this episode a reality. We talked about some really life-changing principles here:
Micro and Macro Transitions
How to experience Grief and Gratitude simultaneously
Rituals to help with grief and transition
Loneliness and how to deal with it
Connecting with our inner wisdom to find the answers we need
Baya also shares a never-before-published story of how she was able to use ritual to get through a major heart break that began on the TEDx stage. If you are going through something hard right now, you should listen to this episode. If you have ever gone through a major transition, you should listen to this episode.If you have ever felt lonely, you should listen to this episode. Don’t miss this one!
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Baya Voce is a Rite of Passage Designer, helping people turn their life transitions into rites of passage through ritual and ceremony.
She’s known for designing and facilitating experiences ranging from two-person rituals and 20-person Jeffersonian-style dinners to 100+ person women’s circles, elaborate 1,000+-person theatrical productions, and conferences at places like Lincoln Center.
Her TEDx talk on loneliness is one of the most-viewed of all time with over 4 million views. Baya has produced experiences in conjunction with brands like Lyft and Google Fiber, and has been featured by ABC, Fox, MTV, and SXSW for her perspective on human connection, given her prior years as a successful matchmaker. You can connect with her online at www.bayavoce.com or on @baya_voce on instagram.
The future of work will be determined more by how we feel than how we are paid. This was said by Don Rheem in his TEDx talk given in 2018. I was sitting on the front row, riveted by his speech. I couldn’t wait until it was edited and on YouTube so that I could start sharing it with my colleagues and manager.
There isn’t a labor surplus anymore and there likely won’t be one for a while. What this does it it enables employees to choose between the best jobs. There are more unfilled jobs in America than there are unemployed people to fill those jobs, and it will likely be this way for at least the next 20 years.
This is why it is so important for managers to prioritize making the workplace a place where their employees feel good. Listen to today’s episode to learn more about how to be a manager who can do that as well as an employee who can find a job that you love.
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Don Rheem is an author and CEO of E3 solutions, a provider of employee workplace metrics which allows organizations to build engaged, high-performance cultures. He focuses on using science-backed research to consult with leaders at all levels within an organization. He is a former science advisor to both Congress and the Secretary of Health and Human Services. I first saw him speak at TEDxBYU a few years ago and you can find his ted talk by searching YouTube or TED.com for “Can Work Save our Relationships?” He is also the author of the book Thrive By Design: The Neuroscience The Drives High-Performance Cultures, published by ForbesBooks.
In today’s episode I interview #1 New York Times best-selling author, Richard Eyre about his new book The Happiness Paradox. Richard’s experience is that there are three main obstacles to happiness and joy:
When we are obsessed with seeking after these alone, it will be a never ending cycle of ultimate dissatisfaction. However there is a way to sustainable happiness according to Richard. To replace these three with three others:
Synergicity (synergy and synchronicity)
We go into more detail about how you can move from control to serendipity, from ownership to stewardship, and from independence to synergicity. It’s a beautiful conversation that really helps tap into some core issues we face when we want a more happy life.
In addition, Richard made some special offers to all of the More Happy Life listeners!
3. If you’re interested in their books on parenting, go to Valuesparenting.com or go to EyresFreeBooks.com is where you can see the list of all their books and get most of them free online or go to Theeyres.com.
More about Richard and Linda Eyre:
New York Times #1 Bestselling Authors Linda and Richard Eyre have seen their books sell in the millions and be translated into more than a dozen languages. Appearing on virtually every national talk show, including Oprah, Today, and CBS This Morning, the Eyres have also spoken and presented throughout the U.S. and in more than 60 countries. They are known for their teachings on parenting and have recently come out with a new book about happiness. Naturally, I wanted to talk to them about the book and I was lucky enough to get Richard on the phone for a very serendipitous conversation.
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If you feel like you are not enough or that your life needs to change for you to be happier and healthier, Episode 120 is for you. In this episode I interview the founder of The Daily Shifts, Doug Cartwright. The Daily Shifts is an app that encourages you to engage with your mind and body in a way that can turn your day around. In this episode we talk about so many amazing things:
Breathing: Inhale in for 2, Hold for 2, Exhale for 2
The power of Gratitude
The importance of knowing how to manage your energy
“In less than two minutes you can totally change your energy”
The power of transitions to boost or suck our energy
“The number one most important decision I’ve made was I surrendered my life to the universal flow of the planet.”
Surrender to the universe, AND show up everyday the best you can.
A powerful mindset: “Life is happening FOR you and not TO you.”
We get back what we put out into the world
Transformative journalism with Michelle Gielan (25:15)
Unfollow negative news and people who are spreading negativity and replace with positivity
How to vote when you don’t follow the news (ask trusted friends and then use iSideWith.com to save a year of contention and negativity energy suck.
The loneliness epidemic (31:45) is based in the belief of “I’m not enough”
We are here on earth to do two things: Create and Connect
To have a more happy life create a routine ritual to connect with your intuition and higher self (37:25)
Sign up for The Daily Shifts at https://www.thedailyshifts.com/ and if you sign up for premium membership, you’ll also get The Daily Shifts course that is worth $500. This is an amazing deal exclusive to More Happy Life listeners!
More about Doug:
Doug Cartwright is the founder of a new app called The Daily Shifts that helps you to ritualize daily physical and mental shifts to improve your health and happiness. Doug has an amazing story of going from being one of the top sales reps at Vivint, selling over 300 accounts per year having made over a million dollars by the time he was 25. Then he came to a point in his life where he realized he wanted something more than just making more money and buying more things. In today’s episode he shares the transformation of how he found his new purpose in creating daily shifts in his own mind and body through connecting to his intuition.
Have you ever experienced something difficult or traumatic? If you’re listening to this, the answer is probably yes. I believe that a huge part of happiness is the skillset we have built up that enables us to bounce back from the difficult things that happen to us. A few weeks ago, I went to the TEDxSLC event and saw Em Capito speak about what she calls “resiliency field trips.” These are adventurous experiences that encourage us to get out of our comfort zone and do something intentional to challenge ourselves. It includes curiosity, fun and adventure. As a psychotherapist, Em has been helping people to have these experiences and has found that with those who have done them, a sharp decline in fear occurs. In order to qualify as a resiliency field trip, it has to have the following:
1. New – when we introduce novelty, our brain will be more likely to remember it. This is why travel is often so memorable.
2. Slightly scary – Step out of your comfort zone to push the limits of what you currently believe you are capable of.
3. Intentional – This must be something you value or something that excites you.
Intentional discomfort is important to engage in if we want to overcome anxiety or make progress toward goals that we deeply value, but we are afraid to accomplish.
In this interview we talk about why it is so hard to get outside of our comfort zone and why it is so important.
I had a blast chatting with Em and I hope you find out even more about her in the information below!
More about Em Capito:
Em Capito is an unconventional psychotherapist obsessed with the widespread loss of resilience in the face of overwhelming comfort. While studying her own trauma from the inside out, Em embarked on a series of experiments that led to a prescription of intentional discomfort. Em blends these experiential interventions with meditation and yoga therapy to build the holistic mind-body resilience that carries us through our darkest moments. She completed a master’s degree in social work at the University of Utah in 2007 and a masters in business administration at the University of Phoenix in 2011. Em is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, a certified LifePower yoga teacher, and a Dharma Method meditation teacher with a private practice in Salt Lake City, Utah.
Add more life to your days and more days to your life by applying science-backed inspiration and research from Andy Proctor, a well-being expert and PhD candidate studying the science of human connection.